Mommy Fatigue

In the first months of being a new mum, I was stuck on some random Friday in December 2019 Every day was Friday. It was so bad I wished my friend a happy birthday in January 2020 thinking it was February 2020 and it was still Friday.

From being an organised disorganised person to living a routine life, every hour scheduled I was slowly losing my mind, no wonder in my mind I was reliving the same day over and over again.

Source: pexels

Every day I would wake up prepare to bath the baby, then do laundry, fix something to eat and then spend the rest of the day staring at the baby pop eat sleep and repeat. On top of that every two hours day and night I was awake feeding the baby. On random days my mum would let me take a break so I would take an evening walk to look at other human beings, I would be so excited at the sight of people and cars and trees and animals and basically anything besides the four walls I was stuck in.

Three months in, tiredness was part of my personality. I am still tired today. All I want is simple 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, I will also accept 2days or a week of doing absolutely nothing. I will also never trade motherhood for anything.

Let me first tell you how I got in touch with the calendar. I got rid of the routines. As long as the baby was fed, clean and healthy. I allowed myself to skip a couple of days of laundry and I realised the random days the baby had her morning bath at lunchtime did not kill her.

I also started to do things for myself, I read a lot. I especially enjoyed Trevor Noahs’ Born a crime, I laughed so hard. A good laugh will give you joy and peace. I have never prayed so much in my life as I did then. I sought for My God and I must admit my spirituality has been doing good and going up since those days when i felt lost in motherhood. Natural hair care is also another antidepressant( I will write about this one day)

One of the good days.

So my baby is 1 year and 4months and I am exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel. I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. I am writing about this today with a lot of tired passion.

Mommy fatigue is a real thing.

I noticed lately while am packing and folding my cupcake is always right behind me busy unfolding and unpacking.(some days she gets her head stuck in the suitcase when the lid closes on her) I have never-ending piles of laundry, and food to cook. I also have to make sure she stays alive since she is always risking her life eating anything her hands touch. I also look forward to after 9pm with a lot of joy because that’s when she shuts down for the day.

This is what happens when you blink on the watch.

That’s not so much work by the way because my sisters help. I don’t have a nanny yet, but I have some help at least. But my fatigue is not temporary its constant and consistent am already tired for tomorrow on top of that I feel guilty for the excitement I feel when the baby is sleeping or someone takes her a way for a minute. Those 5 minutes alone mean the world to me.

So I asked Google. “Why am I so tired” and I found out that hypervigilance is a thing.

Source: internet

Turns out when you are in charge of little ones, you are constantly in high awareness and physiologically that is exhausting. On top of that you spend the whole day focusing on other people, even with well behaved children,your focus is still the kids. That’s a whole job and it’s tiring.

Source:internet

It’s a privilege to be a mother and a joy to sacrifice.

Meanwhile I write these blogs in the early AM’s. It’s therapy keeps me sane.

Since am new at this, I would appreciate some tips on how to survive this phase of child development(is that what they call it even) in the comment section, and for any new mothers out there, you can share your struggles too. We can sharpen each you are not alone. For aspiring mothers. I am tired but I am also full of joy. These children will drive you up the wall and soothe you with hugs and kisses in the morning and when they smile it’s like your daily dose of weed, high on joy. I don’t know much about how dads feel because I am a single mom but I think about you guys too. To the fathers that stick around yours is Respect. The mums appreciate you.

Now can someone tell me if paint is safe? my baby has a daily dose of some from the peeling walls🤦‍♀️.

A small note to my baby Girl. If you read this one day. Know that mama loves you and will accept to be constantly tired for your case any day any time. I adore you and don’t forget to comment, like and share. Please don’t sue me for your pictures. Always remember Jesus is king.

Eren @1

Be kind, be humble , spread love.

17 comments

  1. Well done Mama!
    Having a little one to care for with little or no help can be super exhausting (even when you have all the help in the world sometimes)

    It is your first time, so enjoy it😂. For me, on my second, I realized all that extra work I was doing (as a neat freak) was really not necessary.
    Sometimes you wonder (or feel guilty) if you are doing right by your baby. The truth is you can never do enough, only God can so leave all the worry to him.

    Breath when you need to
    Cry when you feel like
    Allow people to help whenever you feel helpless.
    Run things by your baby (it sounds crazy😂 I explain things to my kids a lot from a day old) let them laugh and blab at you, it’s good therapy.

    Kisses to your little one

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Like you said, hats off to the fathers who really stay 🤗 🤗. Congratulations 🎊 🎊 on being a new mother my dear that’s a milestone lots of unfortunate women don’t reach. It’s too bad the big man (father) is not there. A colleague (a mother) as well taught me something, that there’s a difference between a father who’s around, and a father who is there, quite powerful. I hope your child’s father would one day be there for you and her lovely daughter.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. See me smiling sheepishly as I read this.
    Tell me about motherhood and taking care of kids like I haven’t had my own fair share or should I say doze of it.
    A tiring and rewarding job all in one.
    Stressful but satisfying too.
    All I can say is do what works for you, the calendar for mothers, especially first-timers, was torn in the year Jesus conquered death by His resurrection.
    Anytime you wake up is right.
    Any time you bath your baby is right.
    Any time you cook and eat and clean and wash is right.
    Don’t overstress yourself if every day turns out to be a Friday.
    Like Rachel said feel free to cry, laugh, be tired and receive any help offered without fear or shame.
    There is no manual for motherhood what is most important is that God’s grace is always available so utilize it to the maximum and as for baby girl eating nonsense, God will take care of that, worry less.
    Give your best and God will crown all your labour of love with success.

    Okay, this is turning into a blog post.
    Bye!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Interesting read…. taking care of kids is such a big tiring job; and it never ends until they turn into adults!
    I learnt early on from my mother that children are taken care of and raised by many pple and not just their biological parents so with my many sibs, grand parents, aunties and uncles, we raised my babies! I would drop my baby at my sisters place with bottles of milk and allow myself to rest!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well done Tikia.

    I relate to this post on all levels. I used to feel guilty when i would crave for some time alone or when someone came around and i immediately handed them the baby, i would feel so bad and guilty but when i got my third, i realised mama needed some little time alone to rejuvenate so i can be all in for a longer time. It’s very ok to feel tired but lets normalise taking some time off. But the mama job is the best and sweetest, we are constantly tired but when we get a breather, we miss our bu babies, such irony right!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s a love-hate-love relationship. One minute your grumbling when you get time off you want the baby back 🤣🤣🤣. Thank you for reading and giving us some of your experience. Hugs and kisses yours.

      Like

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