I have been staring at this page for a while now. 1, 2, 3 enter;
“When did it occur to you that parenting has a huge contribution to how you perceive a lot of today?” On her blog post Talk Sex Education -Advocacy.
To perceive is to attain awareness or understanding of.
It’s to see and observe.
Growing up I used to see my Dad write a lot in diaries, he also kept a whole load of books. He is a teacher so having a home library is a given. Ask any teacher’s kid.
My mum was and still is an advocate for Jesus. One time I was running late for school and was almost getting away with skipping the daily morning prayer and breakfast. She called me back made me take that cup of hot milk and say that prayer. I ended up being walloped at the school gate for being late.
Anytime we were looking for something in the house and we asked mum to point us in the right place she would proudly say “ask the holy spirit am sure he knows we’re the knife is.” That used to test my patience.
Today I love to read and write. The Holy Spirit is my best friend and I will start talking about Jesus at any moment. And all the people will say Amen.
All that I am in that regard I observed.
My parents had different parenting styles but one thing they agreed on was
“Spare the rod, spoil the child”. We were expected to obey without question on most days.
I got my fair share of the cane. And to be honest, a lot of my character was made from the discipline I got.
Today I still kneel down to greet elders because in our household how do you not.
Outside the home setting, I feel guilty standing straight and greeting an elder, the list I will do is bend my knee a little.
One of the things I have struggled the most with as an adult is confidence and self-esteem. In our home feelings were not validated and verbal affirmations of love were not made. We simply practised acts of service. And I have come to realise one of my dominant love languages is words of affirmation.
An article from the pillars Christian learning center says
A secure attachment with parents helps promote a child’s cognitive, emotional and social development. It also helps kids exhibit positive social behaviours. The healthy involvement of parents in the children’s day to day life helps ensure that their kids can perform better socially and academically.
Because of the authoritative kind of parenting practised at my home. A secure attachment was not created and as children, we learned and got attached to other people outside the family who thank God did not end up turning us into rebels. (well we rebelled a bit but the Holyspirit brought us back). The story is different for other children that seek an attachment elsewhere Some end up attached to substance. (alcohol, drugs, sex, tv, etc)
What am trying to say is as a parent you should strive to see that you are your child’s first teacher and example of life.
Constantly express your love for your children, give them attention, develop traditions and rituals it doesn’t matter what age. Eat meals together and validate their feelings.
I also think that discipline is important. However instead of expecting the children to obey without question, how about we combine expectation with support. That way our children can develop skills of independence, self control and self regulation.
Parenting has no manual. But in my small small observation. The hack is in being present and living by example. The Apple does not fall far from the tree.
My daughter is 18 months, in the morning she will get a book which she calls bobo and stare at pictures if it has words she will point at the words and attempt to sound the alphabet (we can only sound “a” ) and then she will get a pen and write (ruin my books) all this under a minute and she will be on her way to do things baby do. ( this is my morning routine being reincarnated)
Tomorrow we conclude the advocacy week and I would like for you to suggest to me how we should end this week. Send me an email at email@example.com, inbox me on my socials, links at the bottom of the page. Or drop a comment in the comments section.
And Because we are lovers here let us,
Be kind, be humble, spread love.