We getting closer to the finish line. And like I mentioned at the start of this 12 day series we are not carrying over any burdens into the next year.
Yesterday I did something for the ladies. A letter to the girl that has disappointed the world. I did not want us carrying any thoughts of self sabotage and unworthyness into the next year. And as I wrote I remembered Men are human too.
So today’s is international men’s days on my blog.😁
I am not a man so I have no idea how you function. But I got a man friend to chip in and remind you;
to breathe, let go and live.
A Word From Shadray.
The Weight He Carries.
Whatever you do, there will always be someone who does not agree and has an opinion. You will be judged for how you dress, how you walk, eat, entertain yourself, religious beliefs ,et al.
When it comes to Gender, That is like the mother of all reason to judge.
I know alot of judgment is directed towards the female gender but damn, have you seen how the boy child is judged?
In the eyes of the world there is a certain way a man must conduct himself and when he falls short. Well, he ceases to be Man enough.
A man is not supposed to cry. I guess to the world we luck emotion. Let me blow your mind. WE HAVE THE ABILITY TO CRY. We have bad days, we have good days. We want to sleep in and cuddle and not do anything at all. We have emotions, we have skin. Blood runs through our veins. We are human too.
Because It’s only human nature to want to fit in, we end up bottling feelings. Then the day a man explodes in a fit of rage, suddenly that defines him. some Men never come back from that, others continue to bottle emotions until the next explosion another will live a life condemened. fate is different for everyone.
There is always a reason behind every man’s short comings. He had an absent father or he had an abusive mother, he was exposed to adult films early in life, he was raped, I could go and on.
We are also shaped by what the world served us. We don’t mean to disappoint the universe but we don’t know any better. It’s not an excuse for our actions it’s a reason for you to understand we are human too.
I have fallen victim of the stereotype.I am conditioned to believe a man does not cry. I remember receiving the sad news of my aunt’s death while at office. She was dear to me. The mother I never had.I was broken and hurt and yet I contaimed myself. I live a short distance from work. I put my shades on and walked holding on to what Iittle “man-ness” I had left. When I reached my place, I locked myself in and cried alone where no one would see me. The funeral was another hurdle, because there were people, I did not cry but up to now, I still feel like I should have and it hurts me.
Now, The pain of the woman you love not wanting you because you can’t afford a car. Sigh
A man’s ability to love is judged by his wallet.
Another class of people think that everyone should have a side hustle. Yes.It is good financial gospel.
But what makes people think that everyone is a business genius? Some people have actually flourished at the one office job they have while some have ended up in worse positions because they borrowed money or invested the little they have in a business that did worse than the Catholic Churchs efforts against sexual abuse.
As we are dealing with those judging us for not having financial investments, A man falls in love with a woman who earns more than he does and then boom, the judges shift camp and start judging him for it too. It is usually kept a secret in many homes when the woman earns more than the man. I think it comes from the construct that man is always supposed to provide for the woman so automatically, he must earn more and you are still wondering why such marriages fail?
Now, as the marriage goes along, a man is happily loving his wife proper, then someone will tease him for his one woman choice. They will bring up all chauvinistic platitudes that tell a man his manhood is defined by how many women he can control.And when he decides to have a few children with her (as they can manage or maybe due to illness), then they will judge him for not hitting it enough, Worst Case scenario is if the few kids are all girls.
So much I could say but I am limited by paper.
In this world however, we can hardly please any one. People will always judge us according to their they view but we got to stick to what makes us happy. Thats the ultimate goal. Everyone should run their course according to their desires and abilities for everyone is different. Success and happiness are personal goals.
You can find his work at Random thoughts of Shadray.com
I don’t think I have anything useful to add. Thank you Shadray.
However to the men out there. what have we left out today that you think we need to cut you some slack on and let you be? Write it in the comment section down below. We can’t understand what we don’t know. So tell us. About time you speak up. We are not mind readers.😁
And good bye.
See you tomorrow.
Be kind, Be humble, spread love.